The Arsonist
by midnightgamin
Summary: Little Zack Fair learns the greatest thing of all. Women? No. FIRE!
1. The Miscreant's Birth

Disclaimer: don't own anything.

AN: This is for my arsonist friend R*****. Hope you stay away from matches.

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><p>The Arsonist<p>

Prologue

_Eleven years ago, Gongaga..._

Big purple eyes stared at the thing curiously. He was fascinated and drawn towards it. He felt warm and fuzzy like when he's Mum would tuck him in at night. What was it? He tilted his head to the side trying to decide whether this moving glowing creature was bad or not. It looked like a monster from what he heard of his Dad's stories but it wasn't attacking anyone. Is it a good monster then? he wondered. The boy looked from left to right. Nobody seemed to be frightened of it or alarmed. In fact everyone was too busy for the village gathering every five years or so.

"Mum?"

"Yes dear?"

Mrs. Fair regarded her son who was tugging on her skirt. Usually he was a ball of energy when around people but now the boy seemed timid? That can't be right.

"Whas zat?" a finger pointed at the piles of dead wood underneath a roaring fire.

She raised a brow. Doesn't her son know that? But then again this was his first bonfire gathering. Mrs. Fair smiled at her son's impatient look. He was adorable pouting like that.

"Fire, love. Don't go near it alright? I'll be back with the apple pie."

Of course Mrs. Fair forgot her son's puppy like tendencies liked to do the exact opposite. As soon as his mother was gone little Zax approached the massive columns. He just stood there gazing at the flames. He knew what a fire was but not what it looked like. He just assume it was like the sun but this was BETTER.

A few minutes later...

The village leader rubbed his forehead. A dull throbbing ache forming as the villagers complained simultaneously. The little devil was sitting innocently by the corner with an awestruck look in his eyes. He hated kids, especially his friend's kid. Zax Fair had managed to climb the burning columns without anyone noticing and snatched a loose wood with a charred end. The boy got down and started chasing other children, effectively losing his chances for a future wife by burning his girl playmates' pigtails and ponytails.

"Mrs. Fair I believe you should send him to-"

"Absolutely not!"

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><p>AN: meet PyroZack.<p>

-midnightgamin


	2. The Dreaming Dreamer

Disclaimer: don't own anything!

AN: my first attempt at crackfic

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><p><em>Four years later, still in Gongaga...<em>

"I'M GONNA BE A SOLDIER." announced the olive skinned, half crazed boy.

He was brandishing a makeshift sword with the most charming smile that could unmelt his dear old mum...but alas even this cannot change the fact that he liked setting things on fire, especially hair. Everyone learned earlier on to NEVER ever let Zackary Fair near a flint, fuse, candle, bunsen, gas lamp, matches, a can of aerosol, alcohol, lighter and gasoline.

The lovely Mrs. Fair had not gone thru a five hour delivery just so her child could have a valid reason to cause more destruction. On second thought it would be a great punishment if she unleashed her son to the Planet. Sometimes she blamed her husband for unconsciously encouraging the boy. She willed her headache away and said, "We've been through this before Zax, no means NO."

"But I have to be!" he whined.

"And what would you do?" her mother challenged, "Get yourself killed? And ShinRa no less! I'd rather you run a chocobo farm-"

"Bad idea honey!" her husband cut in.

"Chocobo farm huh?" a slight manic flashed on the boy's purple eyes, "I think I like that-"

Mrs. Fair as about to make her approval when she gaped at the very idea of her son terrorizing a bunch of chocobos and gambling. She was begging for an eight course Chocobo meal. No, no, no, no! Bad idea. A very VERY bad idea.

"Nevermind that dear!" the woman amended quickly, "You can pursue any career Zax,"

The boy was just about to explode but his face fell when his mother added:

"Except be a SOLDIER."

"Not fair!"

"Last time I check you are. Honey, did you-?" her hubby was caught off by an icy glare.

"Sleep in the couch tonight."

"But Mum," Zax pleaded, "I want to be a hero!"

The woman hugged her son tightly, "But sweetie you are a hero! My hero! You're Dad is the villain."

"Mum! What the heck? I'm being serious here!"

Both the elder Fairs could not help but find their son's tantrum entertaining and cute.

"Alright, alright." she said placating her overzealous boy, "I just don't want you to be in Midgar or in the barracks where anything can happen. I don't want to wake up one day to the news of my brave son dead! Do you understand? If I have to tie you up for the remainder of your youth I would."

"And that is why I love your mother Zax." the Fair patriarch said.

The boy nodded sheepishly and ignored his father. He did not mean to upset his mum. He just wants to follow his dreams. And get a girlfriend.

"You don't have to be a SOLDIER to become a hero Zaxary." his mother tried to persuade again, "You could be a businessman or a doctor or a...a, um, mercenary?"

"Of course not honey! Our Zaxy here got past middle school in one piece. What difference doe it make if he's in the military?"

"Everything!"

While the couple argued Zax was contemplating. Well, my SOLDIER dream is a bust till I make sure mum isn't serious about the whole overprotective thing.

"Oh! Oh wait! I have a new dream!"

Mr. Fair glanced at his wife, "What is it then son?"

Zax's smile broadened it looked frighteninng instead of enlightening.

"I want to be a FIREMAN."

"Can you repeat that dear?"

"A fireman, mum."

"A what?"

Sigh.

"F-Y-R-E-M-A-N."

"Did I hear that right?"

"A fireman. As in FIRE."

"Yes, I believe so honey.."

Zax beamed at his parents. Finally, something he was really, really looking forward to. Being a fire fighter would be so cool and he would get to save people too! However, his mother who knew little Zacky would end up with a more likely scenerio of being mesmerized by the large amount fire.

He'll most likely be the cause of it too. Shiva save us all if he chose that road...

The silence stretched to what seemed like eternity letting the words sink in. The Fair household just sat there. One stunned head of the house, one seething matriarch and one oblivious smiling child.

"I blame you." Mrs Fair snapped at her husband.

With a sigh Mr. Fair said, Zax, I strongly object to your second dream however I'll remain neutral about your first dream. Good luck my son."

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><p>AN: In the game it was actually Zax. But it'll be Zack later on.<p>

-midnightgamin


	3. Onward to Zack's Reign

Disclaimer: don't own Zack Fair

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

_Three years later, Outskirts..._

He ran for his life. Black hair billowing behind him. He was heavily bruised and suffering from mild dehydration. His mother is going to hunt him down. Crap. Crap. Crap. A little more. Just another mile. Zax ran so fast his legs hurt. Purple eyes sought out his oasis, the logo. Where was it? Where's the recruitment truck parked? He might appear like a deranged hobo but Zax had gone thru the first cirle of hell with his mother tying him to a chair for a blind date with a village woman willing (desperate) enough for marriage. He was thirteen! Hell no.

His Dad took pity of him and set him free literally. Having Zax as a kid was nightmare. He "accidentally" pushed Zack out the window. Fortunately (debatably the opposite) Zax landed on someone.

Upon spotting the red ShinRa logo he sauntered over to fawn at the cadet uniforms. He quickly gained ground and was handed a form to fill up.

"Zax won't do. Dad kicked me out. I happily ran away from home. Cancelled a marriage proposal (from the woman herself) sooo..." a mischievous smile crept on his face, "Intead of Zaxary Dominus Fair...I'll be just Zack Fair."

His eyes locked ont he gasoline container nearby.

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><p>AN: Gah. Prepare Shinra.<p>

-midnightgamin


	4. The Trigger Happy

Disclaimer: don't have the rights to Zack Fair and Reno Sinclair

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

_A few months later, Midgar, Barracks..._

Guns. One word that was not suppose to be associated with Cadet Fair. Ever. He was an excellent shooter with a good aim and good reflexes, the terror of target practice sheets and short tempered instructors. The first time he held a gun was a M16 assault rifle which he caressed like it was Wutain silk or General Sephiroth's hair. He undoubtedly creeped out his superiors but Cadet Fair showed potential. Cadet Fair had a perfect head shot count even though he denies ever using a gun before. Preposterous! Cheat! The next time they had practical artillary he decimated the the training dummies with an awfully cheerful expression while most had the tiger look. It was terribly unsettling.

"Alright, Fair. Tell us how in the blazing hell are you a good shot when you obviously hadn't held a gun in your insignificant little life before enlisting!" his Sargeant ordered.

Zack smiled sheepishly, "Uh, I think I got my aim from my mum, sir. She was a legal mercenary back in her day while my Dad's a psychologist."

There was no need for further explanation as Fair could go on and on about his family. It was better not to provoke a chatterbox. Now they know the perpetrators for bringing this menace into the world, though a very interesting combination indeed.

He was good, no, the best shooter that rival with an efficiency of a Turk. But Shiva, he was a trigger happy. The glint in his eyes were wild and manic whenever some of his fellow cadets scoff at his shooting skills.

Rule number One: never anger Zack Fair when he holds a gun (though he seldom gets pissed off because of how optimistic he was but it was better than handing over condolences).

The raven teen would aim and shoot like there's no tomorrow.

Rule number Two: do NOT let Zack Fair anywhere near the emergency flare guns and grenades and that includes anything flammable.

Cleaning guns became a part of his daily routine. He was in love with the smell of bullets and the drawback force whenever he fired a round. Zack's first girlfriend was a black handgun he named Soshana. Obsessing over Soshana kept him from his constant urges to burn the barracks down with his stash of matches and lighters.

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><p>AN: Soshana from Inglorious Basterds<p>

-midnightgamin


End file.
